(If you don't want to read about the love problems of a teenagers, don't read, it allready feels good to just write it down) Seriously, I've never so bad. I didn't even knew I could feel so bad. what happened?
I'll try to explain... I have a girlfriend, and probably not for long anymore.
The week before this week, she was having an exchange program with school (I did the same 2 years ago), so she went to Slovakia for a week. well nothing wrong so far.
This week we both have holiday, and because of both of us not having time on some days, we were only be able to see each other yesterday.
A friend of me gave a party, and we both went there. Well still nothing wrong so far, except that she didn't seem excited about seeing me again (she isn't the person to show things like that easily so nothing really wrong yet). After the party we went into the city with everyone. So there on the dancefloor she did the worst thing I think she could probably do to me, she fucking totaly ignored me...
normally when going out, we dance together, kiss etc. you know what. Well this night everytime I was within a meter of her, she moved away and made sure that someone else was between us.
Once this night I 'tried' a little to kiss her, well I just came close but she made sure she was totaly looking the other way. I then asked her if everything was all right, and the she looked at me with a 'what are you talking about'-look. Not knowing what to do I just danced a little and sat down somewhere. Not much later she and some friends went home, she didn't even come to me to SAY she was going away. Propably if I hadn't gone after her (and the rest of my friends) she would have just left without even looking at me. Outside everybody went to get their bikes, and then they left, without her saying something to me... That night I was sleeping at someone else his place, and with that friend I went back. In front of the door he asked me if I want to stay any longer, and I said I was feeling terrible (He knew why) so we went home (pretty early for us, that's what real friends are for :) ) On the way back he told me that he had allready spoken with my gf and that she had said that she wanted to break up. That night around 3am she sent me an sms asking if I wanted to come over to her place the next day. I replied I would because I wanted to talk with her, and saying that I had the most terrible night ever.
I didn't sleep te rest of the night. Next day when I went to her place, with the thought of going there for probably my last time and totaly expecting to talk with her and break up, but she acted like nothing happened. Eventhough I said I wanted to talk to her, she had invited some other friends of her (and mine). So I couldn't speak privatly with her...When everybody left, I left and she just said goodbye to everyone and nothing more... Now I'm sitting here at home writign this blog, I just explained all this to the best friend of my girlfriend (and a good friend of mine). she wasn't on the party and neither in the city, but she was one of the friends my gf invited to her place.
She didn't know of anything (mostly when you want to break up you talk about it with your best friends) and she did help me feeling a bit better. I'm going to call my gf tonight and talk it all through so either tonight I know the reason and I'm maybe a bit happier again, or tonight I'm a free man again... Now, I didn't write this to get replies like 'Fuck her, she's not worth your love when she acts like this'. I still love her, so mind your words.
I don't give a fuck if none replies it just feels good writing this all down. Fuck this I really feel terrible... |
